Why Dogs Are Better Than Women

A dog will let you put a studded collar on it and will not call you a pervert
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long
A dog's parents never visit
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
Anyone can get a good-looking dog
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
Dogs are excited by rough play
Dogs are not allowed in Harrods or Selfridges
Dogs aren't catty
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
Dogs can't talk
Dogs don't borrow your shirts
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
Dogs don't cry
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late
Dogs don't hate their bodies
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
Dogs don't shop
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had
Dogs don't worry about germs
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
Dogs like beer
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs like to ride in the back of pick-up trucks
Dogs love it when your friends come over
Dogs love long car trips
Dogs never criticize
Dogs never expect gifts
Dogs never need to examine the relationship
Dogs never want foot rubs
Dogs seldom outlive you
Dogs think you sing great
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted
Dogs understand that farts are funny
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house
No dog ever bought a Kenny G album
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you
When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hrs a day
